All Your Base Are Belong To Google

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Work in progress - This page is part of a joke that I jotted down early 2007 that seems to be growing into reality more and more each day.

The NSA will seize control of Google under the guise of National Security and all of the following will be available in a nutshell.

  • Searches - Either by Google account tracking or IP based search records
  • Purchases - AdSense, Acquired DoubleClick
  • Social Networks - owns Orkut
  • Chats - GoogleChat
  • Email - Gmail
  • Photos
    • Google StreetView - pictures of the areas recorded
    • Picasa photo sharing holding pictures of your life
  • Global View - Google Earth - user generated pins and info
    • High Quality Digital Imagery Satellite
  • Documents
    • Spreadsheets, documents and everything you put in them
  • Calendar
    • Google knows when you've been and when you'll be
  • Phone
    • 700mhz Spectrum Big [Failed]
    • Android
  • Google Latitude - We know where your phone is
  • EMR - We know your ailments and your health
  • Google Voice - We can hear you now (and we're transcribing your stuff for record)
  • Chrome Operating System - we control your computer
  • Google Analytics - we'll track who reads this
  • Google Public DNS - go ahead and use Bing searches, Google will just watch the DNS requests!